Lamentations

LAMENTATIONS
My life was as attractive,
As the plateaus of Jordan,
But see my life,
Looking like a postponed burial!
All i had in my life, 
All that I called mine,
Has now flown away like a dove,
All people I held close,
Have turned out to be
Exactly what they said they will never be.

I even no longer get surprised 
when people let me down
Do not pity me, no please don’t,
I expected the pain,
But didn't prepare for it,
Now it's too much to bear,
And now that I have it,
I wish I knew how to make it go away,
How do I make my heart turn cold? 
I don't want to hurt anymore.

I get scared of becoming close to people,
because all they ever do is leave,
Forgiveness is such a simple word, 
but it’s so hard to do,
when you've been hurt.

And to make it even worse,
No one notices your tears
No one notices your sadness,
No one notices your pain,
but they all notice your mistakes!

I want to leave this cruel word,

My stabbed heart bleeds,
If death is the ultimate path out,
I want it right away.

But before I leave, here's a caveat
When i die don’t go to my grave,
And sit there telling me,
How much you loved me or miss me, 
For those are the things,
I needed to hear when I was alive

©Hussein Muchiri